Fred and Valerie

The packages I sent out last Thursday have made it to their respective destinations. The one going to Maryland made it two days ago (total travel time of 5 days) and the one going to Louisiana made it yesterday (total travel time of 6 days). This means that the Post Office is either severely incompetent at predicting travel time for packages or they’re desperately trying to complete some up-sells. Either way, it’s pathetic.

Last week, it quickly became apparent to me why I should never again ship a package via the US Post Office. I had to ship some items I had sold on eBay to the winning bidders and some of them chose USPS Parcel Post as their method of shipment.

On Tuesday, I had to send out two packages via USPS Parcel Post. I printed out the shipping label through eBay/PayPal and took the packages to the main post office in town. The postal worker scanned the large bar code (about 1/8 the size of a piece of paper), typed in some information, then handed me a receipt. I didn’t have to pay for anything since I had already paid for the shipping through PayPal, so everything was done.

On Wednesday, I had to send out two more packages, but both winning bidders selected UPS Ground for their method of shipment. I again printed out the shipping label through eBay/PayPal and then took the packages to a local UPS Store. They scanned in the packages, asked for my name (so they could record who dropped off the packages) and handed me a receipt, complete with tracking numbers.

Thursday required the shipment of another two packages and this is when things started to go a bit haywire. As with previous items, I printed out the shipping label through eBay/PayPal, but this time I took it to a closer post office for delivery. I waited in line, went to the available postal worker, and watched as she scanned in the packages and typed in some information.

I should note at this time that I have no idea what the postal workers type in. I’ve shipped several packages via USPS with prepaid shipping labels and they always have to scan the bar code, then type away as if there’s a ton of missing information. The odd part is that they never ask me for any of this information, so I have no idea what they’re actually doing. If the shipping label is completed through a computer and they’re scanning in a bar code and they’re not asking for my name so they know who dropped off the package and they’re not asking for anything else, what in the world are they typing in?!

After the postal worker was finished typing in the unknown information, she placed the first package behind her, then proceeded to the second package. She went through the same motions and then informed me, “this package probably won’t make it to its destination by Christmas. Do you want to send it Priority?” I declined sending the package Priority Mail because my customer hadn’t paid for it and she then informed me, “your other package should make it by Christmas, but this one probably won’t.” I thanked her for her concern, held my tongue and laughter, and finished the transaction. The woman handed me my receipt and Valerie and I walked out of the door before I voiced my astonishment.

What the postal worker had just told me was that a package going to Louisiana via USPS Parcel Post “probably” wasn’t going to make it to its destination within 10 days. 10 days! A 935 mile trip (by road) wasn’t going to be able to happen within the next 10 days. In other words, the USPS travels at rate UNDER 93.5 miles per day. As someone who commutes 35 miles per day each way (70 miles round-trip), I find this to be an amazingly incompetent rate of travel.

But wait, it gets better! Remember the package that “should” get to its destination by Christmas? That particular package was headed to (drum roll, please) Maryland! The package was traveling a grand total of 126 miles (by road) and the best the USPS could give me was that it “should” reach its destination within 10 days. Now we’re talking about 12.6 miles per day. The average person can walk approximately 3 MPH, so what the USPS was telling me was that if I were willing to walk about 5 hours a day, far less than an average work day, I could walk my package to its destination faster than they could deliver it!

After that little bit of humor and incredulity, I was a bit hesitant to ever use USPS shipping again, but Friday came and another winning bidder selected USPS Parcel Post as their preferred method of shipment. I again printed out the shipping label through eBay/PayPal and took the package to the main post office. The postal worker did the usual taking of the box, scanning of the bar code, and typing in of a bunch of unknown information, but then he did something I hadn’t experienced during any other delivery: He told me my total was $0.14. Thinking he added something to my shipment that I didn’t need, I told him I just wanted what was already paid for through the printed shipping label. He asked me if I wanted shipping confirmation and I again said that I just wanted what was already paid for.

The postal worker then blew my mind when he opened up the sealed plastic that contained the label I had printed out and started cutting it in half. I asked what he was doing and he said that if I didn’t pay for shipping confirmation, then he had to cut off the confirmation part of the label. Perplexed (because I don’t know why a label would print out with a confirmation label if I hadn’t paid for it), I questioned why he couldn’t tell if I had paid for confirmation or not. He explained that I would have received confirmation and if I couldn’t show that, then he couldn’t send it that way.

Thinking that the situation was already beyond ridiculous, I decided to let it go and just asked for a receipt that they had received my package. This is something I had received every time I dropped of a package, both at the Post Office and at UPS. Amazingly, the postal worker said, “I can’t give you a receipt because you didn’t buy anything.”

I said, “I’ve shipped a number of packages and every time I receive a receipt and haven’t had any problem with the delivery confirmation.”

The postal worker responded (I kid you not!), “Well, those other workers just aren’t as smart as I am.” Seriously, those were his words!

I replied, “So, you mean that guy [pointing at the postal worker who had taken my packages on Tuesday] isn’t as smart as you?”

“No,” replied the postal worker.

Given what had happened Thursday, there was no WAY I was leaving my packages in the hands of this guy without a receipt or delivery confirmation, so I went to my car to get the other half of the label printout to see if there was something explaining that I had already paid the measly $0.14. Thankfully, it showed it and I took it back into the Post Office. I showed the guy and he said, “That’s what I needed,” then he took one of the red stamps they use on April 15th to hand-cancel the mail and stamped my printout.

I asked, “Is this my receipt?”

“Yep.”

Lovely. I now have a USPS hand-canceled printout which I can sit next to my computer-printed UPS receipt/tracking records from Wednesday and marvel at how the Post Office miraculously stays in business and turns a profit.

From now on, it’s UPS or nothing. Any entity that can process something online and then have no record of it in their computers and show no information regarding the package when I check the tracking number online hours later has some serious problems and just goes to prove that I likely would be better off walking my packages to their destination.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t enough snow to warrant the exclamation point, but it’s still snow and that’s always exciting. We’ve pretty much had a constant light flurry all night with small periods of light snow. There’s been no accumulation and I can’t imagine there will be with how light it is, but we’ll enjoy it while we see it.